image courtesy of sektordua

Have you ever had an epiphany, decided to make a change, and then forgot about it within a matter of days? We’ve all gone through this process, and it makes sense because it’s largely how development happens. You make a breakthrough, and suddenly you’re in a new world. Or, more accurately, you have developed the ability to see things anew.

But the old way of seeing is still what you are used to, and gradually or suddenly your eyes lose their newfangled focus, and the world is old again, and you wonder whether your epiphany meant anything at all.

What happened is this: something new did emerge in you, but it wasn’t stable. This is how development occurs—in fits and starts, a messy progression of two steps forward and one step back. We go through 4 major stages in the learning process:

• Unconscious incompetence, where we don’t even know what we don’t know.
• Conscious incompetence, where we are starting to see the extent of what we don’t know. This part can be very painful!
• Conscious competence, where we’re starting to get it but it requires a lot of effort.
• Unconscious competence, where we’re so good at our new skill that we can sink into performing it, without having to think about it.

It’s like when you learned to swim, you paddled once or twice then screamed for your dad to hold you. Gradually, with help, you gained confidence in your ability to swim in new waters. But you couldn’t have expected to just jump in and do it perfectly the first time. You needed time and effort and help to stabilize it, to get over the painful hump of conscious incompetence to conscious competence.

This process applies to everything from financial skills to nutrition to spiritual development. We need courage to take our first steps, and then we need help to get through the awkward stage.

I know for me this external support is crucial. Without the exercise group I’m a part of, I would never have developed the habit of working out 5 hours a week. If not for community with other practitioners of Evolutionary Enlightenment, I would not be able to keep at it. Even simple education works much better in a group—I can read a book on my own, but I understand it much more deeply when I get a chance to talk about it with others.

It’s gotten to the point that when I’m struggling with something, I look for a way to bring other people into it. For instance, I have been seriously slacking on my meditation practice, and when I slack on that, everything suffers. So recently I joined together with some friends who are also working on their daily practice, and we made the commitment to each other to check in and care about what we are all doing.

At some point I will be strong enough to meditate daily without relying on anyone else’s support. But, for now, knowing that other people are part of what I’m trying to do has gotten me through more than a week with no missed sessions.

What are you working on? Can you see a way to bring your community into it so that you all benefit?