image courtesy of omniNate

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I packed everything I owned, sold a big portion of it, moved, and unpacked. To top it all off, summer just ended. What this translated for to me was a perfect storm of stress, partying, and mountains of fried food. Oy.

A few years ago, I would have looked over the past month and gotten discouraged with myself. I’d call myself a colossal screw up, and this period of my life—which has generally been quite healthy and productive—would come to end in a glorious blaze of French fries, ice cream, and primetime television. I’d simply give up, at least until the next time I got annoyed with my unhealthy self and started again.

Only thing is, each time the pendulum swings from strict compliance to wild defiance, damage is done. In Rapt, Winifred Gallagher talks about this phenomenon, quoting research psychiatrist George Ainslie:

[Willpower] is a bargaining situation with your expected future selves, in which the present choice is a test case for a whole category of probable choices in the future. Why not eat the cake? After all, one piece won’t show! What you lose isn’t that little bit of slimness, however, but your expectation that you’ll be able to stick to your diet.

This passage reminds me that progress in life comes less from grand gestures and more from simple choices made moment-to-moment. When I falter, I don’t need to beat myself up or throw my hands up in the air. Instead, I can acknowledge that I’ve gotten off track and steer myself back. Here’s how I’m doing that.

• Keep it simple. Now is not the time to start a complicated new routine. I know what I need to do to feel healthy and strong—eat tons of greens, exercise, spend time writing and in meditation—so I’m focused on doing those things every day.
• Use my support system. My loved ones want me at my best, and they are more than willing to help me out. It’s important that I not spend too much time sitting on my butt drinking beer right now, and they understand.
• Remove the drama. For me, drama and failure tend to go hand in hand, so I’m trying to keep drama out of this process. My feelings have to be less important than the commitments I’ve made. That doesn’t mean I ignore my emotions—if I feel grumpy, I try to reverse it, and if I feel good, I enjoy it. But either way I remind myself that it’s solely up to me to keep the good decisions coming.
• Be consistent and vigilant. The hard part is getting the boat turned around. Once I’m heading in the right direction, it becomes a bit easier to just keep moving that way. But it’s a fine line between taking advantage of momentum and becoming complacent. I need to keep my goals in mind every day. Every day in which I take good care of myself becomes a source of continuing confidence and growth.
• Think big. I have a tremendously juicy project on the burner right now and I’m excited about it. Taking good care of myself means I have more energy to develop my ideas and bring them into reality. This changes how I see my efforts—what could have been an epic struggle (Madge vs. The Waffle Cone!) becomes just a background track to a larger story. Which makes it a lot easier to make good decisions.

My friend and coach Maia clued me into something a while ago that is really just starting to sink in: “Self care means moving forward.” Eating well, exercising, and staying away from the mood-alterers are all choices that literally increase my ability to think bigger and to create more. The more I care for myself, the more I can contribute; and that’s what this is really about.