image courtesy of shareski

Last night I took part in a great conference call with my homies from EnlightenNext. We talked about our experiences over the last month or so, and most of us reported that this summer was a time of rapid change. Some of us started demanding educational programs, others got new jobs, I moved house—and we all also described the same feelings of terror and elation as we took on new challenges and watched our old lives fade away in the distance.

I know for me that when things get scary, I have a tendency to retreat into old habits. I eat too much, I sit on my arse too much, I hibernate and spend too much time alone. The funny thing is that, before I do these things, they sound like a lot of fun. “Don’t I deserve a break?” I ask myself, and the answer is resoundingly yes. But after a day or so of indulgence, I invariably feel shitty. The “treat” I so “deserved” isn’t even fun.

On the call we talked about this phenomenon. On one hand, it’s great, because we can start to see how the habituated part of ourselves, the part that is afraid of change and that clings desperately to whatever smidge of security it can (called “the ego” in many circles), actually LIES to us. “This macaroni and cheese and ice cream and potato chips and Buffy marathon is going to be awesome!” Meanwhile, the part of ourselves that wants to embrace change and create the new knows better, but we choose not to listen.

Why? I think there are a couple of things going on. First off, habits and the rituals associated with them feel comforting, even if they are destructive. Witness the behavior of drug addicts, abused women, and people in the throes of a thousand other categories of addiction.

Then there’s the fear of the unknown. On some level, we think that if we stick with what we know, we will be safe. Of course, this is bullshit, but evolution has inculcated us with a strong desire for security, and in most cases we’re hapy to stick with the devil we know rather than peek behind door number 2.

This dynamic operates on all levels, from what we decide to do with an evening to what we decide to do about climate change. And it occurs to me that shifting this dynamic—bravely stepping into that which has never been created or experienced before—is the fundamental task involved in building a new kind of future.

How do we do it? We look at ourselves objectively. We make decisions and stick with them, calling on each other for support and guidance and strength as much as we can. And when we’re in the throes of the ego’s attack, we learn to recognize that it is lying. That, in fact, clinging to old patterns will NEVER make us happy, nor will it allow anything new to emerge. And that the magnificence of our creation is directly proportional to the fear we feel when stepping out to create it.

This requires courage—to feel fear and do what we know is right anyway. And it requires objectivity—to look at the mechanics of our psyches clearly, from a higher place. Meditation helps with both, as do conversations like the one we had last night, and the ones we have here on The Sunny Way.

How do you handle the fear involved with changing your habits, resisting temptations, and trying new things? I would love to hear about your experience, either in the comments, or on twitter. Here’s to a new day filled with lots of scary things and lots of brave actions in the face of them.