Birthdays are a wonderful rite of passage. The joke in my house is that my birthday lasts the entire month of October, with the exception of the 13th, which is my husband’s birthday. I love a good party. Life is a gift to be celebrated. Eat, drink and be merry, I say.

Still, the reality is that kids birthday parties can easily turn into stressful, bloated affairs. Between the junk food for 20 kids, the disposable, licensed character cups and plates and the blinky-light toys, birthday parties can be more of a paean to the Gods of consumerism than a celebration of the life of a child. The first time I went to Chuck E. Cheese as an adult I felt an immediate urge to call my mother and apologize for ever dragging her there. As long as I can, I am going to try to avoid that kind of birthday party, if only for the sake of my sanity.

Up until this year my kids’ birthday parties have been family affairs. Last year I asked Cheyenne what she wanted for her birthday and she told me, nearly bursting with excitement, “A birthday cake and a birthday hat!” I knew I was getting off easy. This year she has friends and ideas of her own and I can tell we have entered a whole new ballgame. My challenge this year was to come up with a birthday party that was fun, but still as simple and eco-friendly as possible.

After some discussion Cheyenne and I came to an agreement on the theme of Garden Tea Party and a guest list of a few kids. Especially at four years old, I think a small party of children helps to keep things simple and fun. The guest list was small, so I didn’t really bother with formal invitations. I have a casual circle of friends, so e-mails, word of mouth and scraps of paper with my address written down were my preferred means of communication. Little kids really don’t care about the invitations anyway, so why waste the paper?

For the menu I decided to stick with easy, homemade foods. By skimping a little on convenience I could afford to use higher quality organic and local ingredients. Considering there were only six kids, including mine, it wasn’t much trouble. To make the menu more fun, I made everything bite-sized—kids love that. We had bite sized tea sandwiches, cheese and crackers, cookies, banana bread bites, fruit, gingerbread orange tea and bite sized cupcakes with white frosting and sprinkles. We would have had scones with homemade jam, but I forgot they were in the oven. By the time my nose had reminded me they were literally toast. Still, we ended up with a pretty great spread:

I used real plates and cups instead of disposable. I found some old demitasse cups at my parentss house that worked as teacups. We spread a picnic blanket on the floor of the living room and served the kids there, so there wasn’t much chance for them to break anything.

I wanted to come up with party favors that were a little less disposable than the average bag of cheap plastic toys. Since the theme of the party was garden related, I decided we would all plant our own tomatoes or lettuce. I found some white ceramic pots at IKEA for $.50 apiece and bought a package of Early Girl tomato seeds and a package of French-style salad mix seeds.

It was actually above freezing that day, so we bundled up in our coats and headed outside. The kids were really enthusiastic about planting. “So this seed is going to become a tomato? That’s awesome!” Even the little ones were excitedly scooping dirt into their pots. Who doesn’t like playing with dirt? When we were done we wrote each kid’s name on their pot with a dry-erase marker. Here’s the birthday girl with one of her garden tools:

The whole thing cost me about $50. Most importantly, it was a hit. The kids loved the novelty of having something “grown-up” like tea and they really enjoyed the food. Surprisingly, the cucumber sandwiches went as fast as the cupcakes, so I at least feel like the kids got something healthy to eat that day. They had a blast planting their seeds and I felt good about sending them home with something that would remind them of the party for months to come.

Everyone had a lovely time. It wasn’t a big, noisy stress-fest, but a simple celebration of my sweet little girl. The focus was on the people, not the event. I like that. At the end of the day that is what memories are made of.